I’m days late writing my blog for the first time in over a year. I’ve been contemplating whether I wanted to post what’s been bothering me to the 10th power over the past few months.
At first I was upset but didn’t think too much about living with my aunt growing up. Even at 5 years old, I knew I would live a better life with her. As I got older, thinking back about having to do my own pony tails, dressing myself (corduroys in July) and having to hide food from you so that I ate in the morning, made the process much easier.
Then you had my little sister; fortunately another aunt was able to care for her straight out of the hospital. You don’t know her, you never did…
I spent most of my tween years convincing myself that the sexual abuse was all a bad dream I couldn’t forget, until I turned 12 and he asked me if I’d gotten my period yet during a summer visit. I think I died for a minute.
In the meantime you had my youngest sister. You “cared” for her for a couple of years until a third aunt came to the rescue. You don’t know her either.
We tried, I tried, did you?
Everything is supposed to be better now that we’re all grown, don’t need you for anything and you’re not “sick” anymore. “I can help you get on your feet”. I guess I took too long because you let him sell your house, the one thing you still had for yourself, but was too weak to stand up for yourself and keep.
At first I felt sorry for you, but then I realized while he rides around in a Mercedes, you didn’t make sure your daughters, my baby sisters, saw one red cent for tuition/ books. You’ve been promising them money forever. Well, that was the time and you missed it…again.
I haven’t spoken to you in a while because I can’t bear to partake in your pity parties anymore, or make up excuses for your lacking. Why do I feel like I’m wrong?! You and him are two peas in a pod, he gets it honest. I don’t know what hit me after all this time, outside of realizing you only care about yourself.
No, I didn’t forget and at first it didn’t even matter, DUDE I WAS 3!! YOU ATE MY CHEEZE DOODLES I HID FOR BREAKFAST!! Fuck it, I’m pissed..
mycatbarks 