My Entry for Ellen’s COVERGIRL Contest…

So I entered Ellen’s  COVERGIRL contest and the question you had to answer was “How do you embody Strength, Beauty and Independence?” In 2000 characters. Unfortunately I didnt realize those characters included spaces until I was almost 2000 characters over the limit. I had to summarize everything I wrote below for Ellen but I felt the need to share with you guys 🙂

I used to think my life was abnormal until I got older, read and heard other people’s stories that made me feel that mine wasn’t all that bad. I’ve grown to learn that normalcy has no weight ,shape, of form in life, but nevertheless I like to share my story for healing and hopefully to help heal others.

In a nut shell, I sat in bars, worked, learned to shoot bb guns, been raped and molested by people I trusted the most, all before I turned 5 years old. It’s a curse and blessing to remember these events like they happened yesterday. In between living with different family members and raising myself for the first 5 years of m y life, I learned life skills that most people don’t learned until their late teenage years. My hair was always done, parts may have been crooked, but it was done. I was always clean and dressed, I may have had on corduroys in July, but I was dressed. I knew how to save money I made from making food deliveries under my pillow, only to have it stolen by my substance abusing mother. I’m able to joke about these things now because if my aunt didn’t rescue me, I may not have lived to tell a story at all.

My aunt was in her early 20’s when she asked me if I wanted to come live with her, and at 5, although I loved my mother, I knew I wasn’t in a good place, so I said yes.  She didn’t have much, but she gave me all she had, physically mentally, emotionally and spiritually. She sat nightly with me until I learned how to count straight to 20 without adding “teen” to 10, 11, and 12 and by the 3^rd grade I knew multiplication and division like I knew my first and last name. I never lost a contest.  We read books nightly until I was reading for her and by my freshman year in college; my English professor decided he wouldn’t drop me for missing so many days because I had the highest average in the class (108%) J . I didn’t have the perfect “happily ever after”, but she provided me with a life of opportunity and planted the roots that guided me to make one of the best decisions of my life, which was to be “that somebody.”

I’ve worked in foster care and adoptions since I graduated from Temple University in 2007. Having worked with children that were going through the same and worse situations, I knew I had to do something, but what? So In 2009 I became a treatment level foster parent for tween/teen girls. It’s definitely not the easiest road, but I wouldn’t choose another. I’ve had 5 girls since then, a few returned home and a couple to a higher level of care. I’m known at the agency as a “last resort” home, so many of my girls have already been through several different homes, and have a laundry list of mental health and behavior issues. Experience isn’t the only teacher, but it’s one of the best, and it has allowed me to not only understand but relate to my girls. I do my best to create a supportive / loving environment, even through the constant battle of trust and yearning for their biological families. I can’t wait for summer vacation to take my now 14 year old on her first plane ride. Over last summer we visited the Jersey Shore. It was her first time on a beach and eating funnel cake.

My friends and family have been very supportive in the process and hoping that I will be able to provide permanency one day soon. I may not be able to party every weekend, and probably won’t have a valentine again this year lol, but I can’t seem to find any part of me that regrets this journey.  I found the secret to buying more time in life, it’s not to waste it. #PayitForward #EllenShow lol J thanks for reading

Click the link If you would like to enter: LOVE ELLEN